Have you ever felt connected to a place...as if you had lived there in your dreams? Or was so fascinated with a culture that you couldn't resist the tugging at your heart to travel there? Or have a desire deep down, ingrained in your being to be somewhere? For the majority of my life I have felt that way about Africa. I still can't believe I now can say I have been there. I've known for years that God would give me an opportunity to go, to love, come back, and possibly return one day. I knew even before I stepped foot in Africa I would love it. But I didn't know then that I would fall immensely in love with it as I have.
It's been over a week since I left Uganda and I'm still not sure where to start...how do I try to explain this trip. There is much to say but I don't quite have the words. When people ask how my trip was I can't figure out how to accurately describe my experiences, my stories, what I saw, what I learned, how God moved in my heart, my thoughts, and the deep love I have for Uganda and its people. Being there felt natural; like second nature, as though I'm meant to be there. It felt like home to me. While there, I was overcome with a peace and joy like nothing I've ever experienced before. It's a feeling of euphoria that overwhelmed my whole being. It took control and made me want to dance, sing at the top of my lungs, cry and laugh uncontrollably. It isn't just happiness though, it is an elation that only comes from the Lord. Never wanting those moments, however brief, to end because honestly there is no greater feeling than to be wrapped in His arms and to be filled with God's presence.
I fell in love with Uganda more each day. Every day was different, every day was exciting, every day had it's up and downs, every day I realized or saw something that broke my heart, but through it all there is one thing that remained (and will continue to remain) constant - love. The love of the children, the love of the mamas, the love of the widows I met and prayed with, the love of one of the many teens I mentored and encouraged, the love I felt when holding one of the many orphans and I realized they were holding me back, and the love I felt welling up inside me every time their little hands curled around mine - the love of God.
The days were full of life, we were busy from morning to night. The only time I had a moment to stop to process all that happened, all I experienced, saw, and did throughout the day was when I found myself alone at night. A few of the nights in Mubende I found myself needing to go outside and sit on the steps outside my room to breathe, to think, to feel. I absolutely loved these moments with God. Sitting there looking up at the larger than eternity night's sky full of a zillion magnificent stars. With the splendor and glory of God's creation surrounding me. It's an overpowering feeling when you really look at a night's sky; how vast and marvelous it is. Knowing our great God created such things as the universe and all that it holds yet is at the same time is our personal Lord who cares for each and every one of us. How blessed we are to be loved by our God.
In these moments, and the many that have followed, God has revealed several things to me. One I will share with you now is that this feeling I have of being home there on the other side of the world is not in vain. It's not something that will pass. He has been preparing my heart and life for this moment my whole life. Everything is good and perfect in His timing. There have been a multitude of opportunities to go to Africa over the years, but every time I tried to make it happen because I wanted to be there, God shut those doors. Every time. It wasn't until I reached this point in my life of completely surrendering my pride, my desires, my whole self to him that he decided it's time. Time for me to go, to love, to truly see what He wanted me to see, to experience what He wanted me to experience, to feel what He wanted me to feel.
So here I am, missing and longing to be back in Uganda with all that I am. I might have left but my heart remains there. While I know I will return to this place I have fallen in love with, I'm not able to be there now. While I am waiting, I choose to continue to serve, to love and do as God calls me in life! As I wait, I choose to live intentionally. I choose to use the passions, gifts, and circumstances He has given me to be God's hands and feet, wherever he places me. I want to use all that God has given and shown me through this trip and my gifts to tell the world the stories I've heard; the amazing, heart wrenching, and powerful stories of those I met. It's not about changing the world, Jesus will take care of that. I though can change the world for one person. I can be the amplifier of the stories that need to be told and voices that need to be heard. I know I will return to Uganda soon. For how long I do not know yet, but for as long as God has me here, I will continue to serve, love, and follow where He leads me!
I miss Uganda waka wange(Uganda my home) with all of my heart, and cannot wait to return. To see my children. To see my friends and family. As we were leaving I didn't say goodbye. Goodbyes are not allowed, only see you later.
See ya later Uganda!
Mukama Akweya Omukisa (God bless you)
-Mel
Thank you everyone who have supported me, prayed for me, love me and made this even possible. This is just the beginning, over the next several weeks I will share many stories and photos with you my friends. Some that make me cry, and some that make me laugh. Many stories to tell!
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